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The Sassy MoFoS: What's New?

Sassy is the Night now on Emusic.com - August 26, 2008

Yessirree!!! You can now get your sass on at:


EMUSIC.COM


It's a subscription service where you can get a 25 free download trial. Check it out and download some Sass.

Sassy is the Night Now on iTunes - September 17, 2007

MoFoS Featured on BushFlash.com - August 26, 2007

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Sassy MoFos Featured on BUSHFLASH.COM Radio PodCast Episode #9


Just a quick note to let you know Eric Blumrich's great website, BushFlash.com, included our tune, "I Won't Be Dick Cheney's Bitch" on BushFlash Radio Episode #9. We are the 4th song on the show. Who would have ever thunk Wyclef Jean would open for us. Only in the Podcast world I guess. The link to the Radio Show is on the front page, right hand side, and a quick scroll down on www.bushflash.com. If you get a chance to check it out, do so and if you have the time, write him a quick note to thank him for including us and doing such good work for the country.

NEW SASS CONTEST!!!! - July 27, 2007

Who's got a Ducky Story???

Alrighty ho! It's time for a new contest. It's been a while since we had a contest and since we're getting geared up for a new EP, us MoFoS, need some inspiration from all the Sassers and Frassers out there. Since we've always geared the contests towards the visual arts, we thought we'd put out a challenge to all you creative writers. Gotta Ducky Haiku? Know a Good Duck Duck Joke?
A Sassparilla Adventure? A Flash Sass Comic?

Sassparilla says there's a dearth of good reading material about ducks and he's tired of hearing our silly stories. So, hit us up with your best sassy verb and nouns by August 31st. We'll be awarding several prizes for the best entries: T-shirts, CD's, etc.

Cheerios,
The Sassy MoFoS

BREAKING NEWS: Sassy MoFoS drummer Just Hal flees country - March 16, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Sassy MoFoS drummer Just Hal flees country


Tung Chee Hwa, Staff Writer – United Sass International News, Plc
March 16, 2007, 17:36 GMT


Hong Kong – Longtime Sassy MoFoS drummer Just Hal was confirmed to have fled his home country of the United States yesterday and is reported to be hiding out in a remote area of Hong Kong, according to statements from domestic and international law enforcement agencies.


Hal, whose metronome-sharp drum chops spice up the band’s latest album release, Sassy Is The Night, has by far the group’s longest arrest record and is alleged to have committed numerous parole violations in recent months, according to police in his home state of Tennessee.
“Hal has a rap sheet longer than a possum’s tail, but much more hairy,” said James T. Parton, the Tennessee Highway Patrol officer who spearheaded a high-speed car chase of the fugitive through Middle Tennessee in early March. “We had seven squad cars after him, but he still gave us the slip. That bastard sure has some car-handling skills – he drives like a goddamned robot.”


Parton said Hal’s 1968 six-cylinder Chevrolet Impala, which the rock giant affectionately called “The Barracuda”, was recovered around midnight on March 2 in the still-icy waters of the Mississippi River next to a container port in Memphis.
“We suspect he was headed to Graceland to pay his respects to Elvis – who Hal insisted was still The King – but he apparently decided the risk was too great and hopped aboard a container vessel bound for the Mississippi Delta after ditching his car in the river,” Parton said.
“His car was still floating when we found it; such was the size and buoyancy of the custom chrome headers that Hal had recently installed. Say what you will about his criminal record, but that boy sure has an eye for automobile aesthetics.”


Although US federal law enforcement officials said they are still not certain of Hal’s escape route, one official who requested anonymity said he believes the fugitive changed ships in New Orleans, where he is thought to have boarded a larger container vessel bound for Hong Kong and Taiwan.
“Eyewitnesses reported seeing a muscular white man with a peculiar mustache boarding a South Korean-registered container vessel in the early morning hours of March 4,” said the source. “This vessel was already under surveillance due to its association with the smuggling of humans from southern Chinese port cities such as Xiamen, Fuzhou Province to the United States and Canada.
“Now it looks like those damned snake heads are doing the smuggling in reverse.”


Hal, who is known to be fluent in both Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese, studied Classical Chinese and Asian History in university before dropping out to allow more time to battle his mounting felony charges, which included automobile theft, embezzlement, grand larceny and a litany of class-B substance violations, according to police in his hometown of Mount Pleasant, Tennessee.
“He loved Mount Pleasant, where he always said ‘the men are men and the sheep are nervous’,” said high school buddy Russ Ownby. “But he always said he wanted to visit China and eventually make his way to Central Asia, where the sheep are said to cover the steppes like heavenly fields of cotton.”


Hal also is said to have a knack for computers and had become increasingly tech-savvy over the years, ever since his first viewing of 2001 Space Odyssey prompted him to prove that computers were not necessarily evil, former associates said.
“This quest even led him to briefly forsake his punk-rock roots by branching into 80s New Wave bands such as Depeche Mode and New Order,” said longtime friend Naropa Fowler. “But by the time that Orchestral Manouvres in the Dark released their first album, Hal realized that he was definitely heterosexual and turned his back forever on synthetic drumbeats.”


The enigmatic fugitive is now believed to be hiding in a squatter village near the township of Shatin, in the New Territories of Hong Kong, according to both Interpol and Hong Kong police officials.
“We believe he is planning to shift his location to the renegade province of Taiwan,” said Lee Ma Tsui of the Hong Kong Police Department. “We have just received an anonymous tip that Hal has shaved his dodgy porn stash and is planning to board a small vessel bound for Taiwan, where he is said to be planning a visit to the Hsinchu Science Park in order to discuss new micro-chip technology with scientists there.”


Hal’s escape comes at a critical period for The Sassy MoFoS, who are preparing a west-coast house party tour following the release of their second album.
“We’ve had all manner of problems with the line-up,” said veteran vocalist Slikker Dee, known to groupies as ‘Slikkus Dikkus’ and ‘The Slikkmacculate Concepcion’. “First it was bassist Abdullah Schmuckler’s ‘lost weekend’ when we thought he’d been abducted, then he decided to have his foreskin removed the very weekend of our March 24 house party in Carlsbad.
“Now we not only have to find a bass player to stand in for Abdullah, but we’ve had to replace Hal altogether, so we’re lookin’ at a whole new rhythm section for jiminy crickets!”


In an ironic twist of events, The Sassy MoFoS have managed to source a Hong Kong drummer for the event. The percussionist, Lee Hong Chee, is well-known in Asia for his subtle, eclectic and understated drum stylings, but is slowly establishing himself in the San Diego area by playing with up-and-coming garage bands such as Gothic Possum and Aleister Grey and the Underdogmanic.


“Yep, we may have lost Hal to Hong Kong, but Hong Kong’s loss is our gain in Lee Hong Chee,” said MoFoS guitarist and principal songwriter Slappy Tee. “Old Hong Chee might change tempos a lot, but he sure can whale on them drums when he’s not tossing back too much of that pure-grain rice wine he loves so much.
“He might not have Hal’s taste in music, automobiles and farm animals, but at least we don’t have to worry about him becoming an international fugitive of justice.”

With additional reporting from Memphis and Taipei bureaus.

San Diego Reader Blurt Article by Jay Allen Sanford - January 18, 2007

Back in Business:
Last week, a song by the reunited Sassy MoFoS was ranked number 3 (of around 6100) on the alt-punk chart at www.soundclick.com.

"It's called 'You Smell Like Something I Wouldn't Want to Touch (But I'm Touching You Anyway),' " says singer Slikker Dee. "Our guitarist Slappy Tee used to be married to an aspiring documentary director who was working undercover at a chicken-processing plant. She came home one night and passed out and, according to Slappy, the stench was horrendous.

"Not only had she spent the afternoon with slaughtered chickens and their entrails, but she'd had too much to drink and had hurled on herself. Slappy says she still looked amazingly hot, though, sprawled across the coffee table with her hairnet slightly askew. He'd been drinking, too, and doesn't remember much after that, so some of the song is a dramatization of what he thinks went on the rest of the night. He swears that, to this day, the smell of chicken bouillon gives him an erection."

Inspired to form in 1991 after a Mojo Nixon concert, the Sassy MoFoS made one Mojo-esque album before disbanding. Dee -- whose day job is selling solar panels -- explains how the band reunited.

"I got a call from Slappy Tee, and he asked how I'd feel singing, 'I might take it in the pooter from a man they call Scooter, but I won't be Dick Cheney's bitch.' Well, after I picked myself up off the floor, I said, 'I think the Sassy MoFoS are officially back in business.' "

The band's Sassy Is the Night album will be released this month. -- Jay Allen Sanford

Sassy MoFoS in San Diego Reader Tomorrow - January 17, 2007

Hey guys and gals,
Jay Allen Sanford has written an article about The Sassy MoFoS that will be in The San Diego Reader tomorrow in the Blurt! Section. You can read it now at www.sdreader.com
It tells the story of how "You Smell Like Something I Wouldn't Want to Touch (But I'm Touching You Anyway) was written and how we reunited.
When you get a chance check out the article and also don't forget to keep going back to listen and vote for the tune, especially right now since we should have a nice push with the article to propel us to maybe #1 on the Alt Punk charts. We've fallen to #15 in the last few days, so if you can help us out today so that when the nice folks who read the Reader look at it tomorrow we'll be up even higher.

Here's the link again in case you don't have it bookmarked:

www.soundclick.com/thesassymofos

or

The Sassy MoFoS music

Us, MoFoS, really really appreciate all you've done to help us move up the charts!!!!!
Cheerios,
Slikker Dee

"You Smell" Hits #3 on Soundclick.com - January 10, 2007

Thanks you guys and gals!!!

;We've reached #3 on Soundclick.com's Alt Punk Charts as of today. You warm the ventricles of our little hearts and we'll never forget ya...hell we might be playing a show in your living room soon! Ya never know...always look through the peephole when someone knocks...cuz ya never know what kind of MoFo lies beyond and wants to pogo and spill beer on your couch.

For those who haven't heard the new tune or for those of ya who just want to support us in reaching #1 and for those two of ya who really dig the tune, here's the link again:

The Sassy MoFoS music

Cheerios,
Slikker Dee

PS:  Grab a San Diego Reader this week, I heard yet again that we might be in there this week in the Blurt section

Dick Diaper and Album News - December 12, 2006

Hey Sassies,

I just gotta let ya in on a little secret: my good buddy and all around dandy and dangerous feller has finally gotten himself a myspace account. If'n you're feeling the X-mas spirit then give ole Diaper a holler over on his myspace account: www.myspace.com/dickdiaper You can also find him on our top friends.

He's just about the only soul other than the MoFoS themselves and a few others who've heard the entire new Sassy MoFo's CD "Sassy is the Night." You can ask him, but I think it's got the Dipe's Seal of Approval.

He's just the dandiest of fellers and he's new to myspace and I guarantee he can teach ya a thing or two about life, and if ya already know all there is to know about living then for damn shore he can teach ya a thing or two about drinking. And if ya think ya know all there is to know about drinking, well let's just say ya aint' met The Diaper yet.

There's a word floating around that he and I might be releasing a song or two in the near future here on myspace as a duo of dubious sorts.

Other news is that Jay Allen Sanford of the San Diego Reader and Rock 'N' Roll Comics, has written an article about us MoFoS and hopefully you'll be able to read it in the San Diego Reader soon. I'll be letting ya know if it gets published and where you folks outside San Diego can be a reading it online ~ hint www.sdreader.com - Music Section called Blurt...new issue every Thursday.

Well, keep your eyes and ears open, cause the new CD is being Mastered as I write this and we expect it back any day now. Slappy Tee finished up the mixing, Doug Diamond, back in NashVegas is doing the mastering. The artwork is complete, courtesy of muah, and we should have that MoFo available to ya very soon.

Thanks ya all for your patience, cause we shore are some lazy MoFoS. Hell, we nigh near had to peel Slappy off the couch to get him to finally finish up the mixing and lordy did I have a time with those crayolas drawing the album cover. But dammit, Abdullah has returned unscathed, Just Hal, although still on probation, is minding his manners and it's looking like we might even be able to tour in the spring(if Hal behaves).

So get out there and show Dick Diaper some Sassy Love. Then buy some Q-Tips and Hydrogen Peroxide, give your aural cavities a good cleaning cause I swear this time some Sassified Sounds are coming your way soon.

Cheerios,
Slikker Dee

"Sassy is the Night" Artwork and Mastering Finished - December 11, 2006

UPDATE: 12/11/06

"SASSY IS THE NIGHT", the Brand Spankin' New Album is done. We've finished recording all the songs and it should be out before the end of the year. Keep your eyes and ears peeled to see when we'll be releasing it. It should be available directly from us or Myspace.com, .


Jay Allen Sanford of The San Diego Reader and Rock and Roll Comix has written an article about us that hopefully will be in an upcoming SD Reader - Blurt Section. Keep a look out for it.

"Sassy Is The Night" Recording Completed - September 7, 2006

"SASSY IS THE NIGHT", the Brand Spankin' New Album is done. We've finished recording all the songs and it's now being mastered and duplicated. Keep your eyes and ears peeled to see when we'll be releasing it. It should be available directly from us directly, myspace.com, on CDBABY.com and also on iTunes.

New Tracks Include:
You Smell Like Something I Wouldn't Want To Touch (But I'm Touching You Anyway)
Strippers in the House of the Lord
Lovin' a Crack Whore Sure Ain't Easy
Hey Whitey! Where'd Ya Get Them Shoes
I Won't Be Dick Cheney's Bitch
A Better Way To Waste My Time
I'm Making a Doo Doo Now
Let Me Be Your Heartache
As Long As The Queers Don't Get Married
It's a Long Way To Khandahar
Hugo Just Wants to Walk His Dog
What's the News, AQ

Breaking News: Sassy MoFo Bassist Abducted - May 17, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: Sassy MoFo Bassist Abducted
Category: News and Politics


By S.D. Dickson - SasMo Central Writer
Tuesday, May 17th, 12:51 PM PT
NASHVILLE, Tenn - Abdullah Schmuckler, 35, was abducted by 4commando types who stormed his Nashville apartment at 11:15pm, Monday,May 15th. Abdullah, is better known on myspace.com as the new bassist in The SassyMoFos, than he is in his adopted hometown of Nashville, TN.

Schmuckler lived a quiet unassuming life and kept pretty much to himself when not cranking out some wailing basslines on the new Sassy MoFo's recording sessions.

Slikker Dee, singer of The Sassy MoFoS, had this to say, "This is a @#$!_FONT>outrage. We cannot standby and let this happen to an innocent member ofour band. He had nothing to do with the lyrical content of our latestsong." The Sassy MoFoS have recently released a scathing indictment ofthe Vice President of the US entitled, "I Won't Be Dick Cheney's Bitch."

Slikker Dee believes the US Government had something to do with the abduction of Schmuckler, "This government is running out of @*&*# control and no one does anything about it until it touches them personally. When gas prices rose, then you started seeing Bush's approval ratings plummet. Well they done up and @$#^ with the wrong Sassy MoFo if they done stole Abdul."

"I Won't Be Dick Cheney's Bitch" is filled lyrical content that blasts various members of the Bush Administration, so it is understandable that The Sassy MoFoS' bassist, who is of Arabian/Israeli descent quite possibly has been targeted by Homeland Security. This administration has made it very clear that they will notallow dissidents in this country to undermine their authority.

However there are other theories that could account for Schmucklers disappearance as well. It is possible that Schmuckler may have caught the attention of the Israeli Mossad (Intelligence Agency) or an angry Afghani Mullah who it was once rumored issued a fatwah on The Sassy MoFo bassist for crimes against Allah. One eyewitness even swore up and down that they saw flashing lights in the sky last night near Schmuckler's apartment complex, so we cannot rule out the possibility of an alien abduction as well.

It is unknown at this time what fate Schmuckler will meet or when we learn of his whereabouts. The Sassy MoFoS recently completed recording their 2nd album and will be releasing an EP soon. Tour plans are even further complicated by the Abdullah Schmucklers current status.

Contest Winner Announced - May 5, 2006

Claudiaaaaa's Super Original, Super Creative, and Super Sassy "Teenage Male Duck" Wins the Free Sassy MoFo's T-shirt. Congratulations, Claudia for a sassy job done mighty fine indeedy.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

MySpace Sassy MoFo Rubber Ducky Contest - May 2, 2006

Here are all the contestants: The winner will be announced very soon!